Ok, so maybe they are just bad pics.
However, these pics remind me of a hilarious fucking story a guy recently told my husband and I while we were hanging out at our local watering hole.
(Being as sick as I am I feel I must share this with you. But be forewarned. This story is nastier than Paris herself.)
Somehow while chatting with the bar patron our conversation turned foul. You know how a few drinks can do that. Anyhow, the guy told us about some girl friends of his who had gone to a bachelorette party where there was a male (gag me) stripper. During one of his 'performances' Mr. Schlong tore apart his tear-off thong and flung it across the room. At that same moment one of the girls got something in her eye. All night and the next day it bothered her. She finally went to an optometrist and had her eye examined. What the doctor found was one of the most disturbing things I could imagine. It was a crab, aka pube lice, that flew out of the strippers thong and into her eye.
So there you have it. What can I say, Paris and her goofy fucked up eye reminded me of that, and I just HAD to share!
1/3/06
Paris' Lazy Eye Condition Worsens
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47 Smack Talkers:
I have heard that exact story a few times.
The nastiness of it all!
WTF!!!!
That's the most absolutely disgusting thing I've ever read...A crab? Flew INTO HER EYE???? WTF? GROSS
Sadly, the crab/stripper Urban tale is very old and has made its rounds.
I remember people saying our nearby stripping establishment had a stripper whose "crab" fell from her g-string.
You've been had, hon.
forget about the story - I'm just glad I am not (apprently by far) the only woman utterly disgusted by male strippers. fuckin nasty asses.
Great Story that nastier the better. Great Blog - loving your Work!!
Fucking HILARIOUS!
I used to be a male stripper and I take offense to your comment. For one, "alosha" and the trashy bitch who runs this site are obviously ugly bitches...ugly bitches say the nastiest things because they know deep down that no male stripper---myself included---would ever give fugly cunts like you the time of day...unless we were getting your money of course...but that still doesn't change the fact that you're a nasty ugly bitch who hates on others because their jealous. The disclaimer on this joke of a site should say: "I'm a troll who tries to cover the fact that I'm hurting inside...my husband's a loser too...he's also too ugly to be a male stripper...and I'm too ugly to post my picture."
You're jealous that people like me are able to make money from the way I look...you hide behind a computer screen and WILL NEVER EVER profit from your fugliness. Anyways, this site is a mess. Go wax your upper lip bitch.
To anon 2:57:
Bitch, please! If you don't like the Smack, then a) you're crazy, and b) you probably can't sit still long enough to appreciate it, being that you've likely got crabs in your strippin-ass jock.
We love you Spicy Pants!
To Anon 2:57:
First of all, Spicy has posted plenty of pix of herself and her husband and both of them are very attractive. I surely would pay them to strip.
Secondly, the reason some of us women find male strippers (or strippers in general) nasty, is because most of them are trashy, tacky and everything but appealing.
If you are so sure of yourself, why do you get all upset about Spicy's harmless little comment? You are pathetic.
Go to another blog, if ou don't like this one. Are there blogs about creepy male strippers? Then go there.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU !!!! Keep on the good work, we love u !!!
It seems her fake eyelash is trying to crawl off her face.
Hey, Stripper-Whore!
First, a quote:
"...you're a nasty ugly bitch who hates on others because 'their' jealous."
Such poor grammar from someone who boasts on her own website: "I am also a Virginia Tech alumni who graduated Magna Cum Laude". (Dubious fodder for a boast, anyway.)
Also, Spicy Pants posts her own picture OFTEN, which you would know if you had bothered to peruse this site for even 5 minutes before making this bullshit judgement:
"...and I'm too ugly to post my picture."
While your website portrays you as female, your above comment reads:
"...no male stripper---myself included"
Hannis, are you male, female, both, in transition... What the fuck ARE you? (Besides a skeevy slut, as you proudly state.)
Hannis, your blog is uninteresting, poorly written and nothing to brag about. You have an over inflated opinion of yourself. And you're not even good looking! You simply slap on a pair of black rimmed glasses, cut your hair in a bob and think you have that "intellectual, sexy because I'm not trying to be sexy" look. YOU'RE A FUCKING POSEUR.
P.S. Confirmation from your website of how UN-funny you are:
“A true geek, Hänni is the only 25-year-old on the planet who routinely manages to accidentally wear her undies inside out on a bi-weekly basis.”
The dictionary describes 'witty' as:
"Quick to discern and express amusing insights."
This is NOT you! You are a fucking hack!
Scout, the so-called stripper was an Anonymous person. Hanni is the person who made the comment below his.
I don't think our male stripper here realises that you don't need to be good looking to get your kit off - ANYBODY can get paid to do so! And if Spicy were to become a stripper, well, I'm sure she'd be a far hotter stripper than our faceless, nameless anonymous male stripper friend here would be. ;)
Whoa there, Scout!!! I'm with you on bashing that self-proclaimed male stripper who hates women, but you confused the posters. Hänni is the comment below the stripper's. She was actually kinda nice. The stripper posted under Anon 2:57...
Careful!
Whoa there, Scout!!! I'm with you on bashing that self-proclaimed male stripper who hates women, but you confused the posters. Hänni is the comment below the stripper's. She was actually kinda nice. The stripper posted under Anon 2:57...
Careful!
Oh, Shit! I apologize for my mistake! I should NOT use my computer before 8:00 am. Sorry, Hanni.
Sorry, Everybody.
P.S. My opinion of Hanni's website stands. It does completely suck. I would have kept my opinion to myself, had I not mistaken Hanni for the author of the 'stripper' comment. Hence, my apology to Hanni.
WE LOVE YOU SPICY!!!!!!!!!!! AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE JOKE NOW AND THEN, IT'S JUST GOOD HUMOR. I NEVER TAKE OFFENSE IN ALL THOSE "YOUR MAMA IS SO FAT" JOKES, BECAUSE MY MOTHER IS NOT FAT. HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
PS: Oh, I almost forgot. DAMN!! What the hell is happening to Fergie? *Shudder* I think I finally lost the hots for her today...
I HAVE MANY FRIENDS (MALE AND FEMALE)THAT STRIP AND THEY ARE VERY UNHAPPY PEOPLE THAT PUT ON A FACE OF GLAMOUR AND HAPPINESS. MOST ARE GAY AND MOST ARE NOT GOOD LOOKING. MY MALE GAY FRIENDS ARE VERY JEALOUS OF THE FEMALE GENDER AND ARE QUICK TO TALK THE TALK WHILE UNDERCOVER. SCOUT ARE YOU GAY AND JEALOUS CAUSE YOU REALLY SOUND IT. PLEASE LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND REALIZE THAT YOUR LIFE MUST BE REALLY SAD. YOU TOOK SPICYS STORY AND MADE IT YOUR VERY OWN. WAS IT YOUR PERSONAL STORY? DID IT HAPPEN TO YOU? IF SO, GO TO THE DOCTOR AND FIX IT. LET THE PAST BE THE PAST. LET GO THE PAIN WHICH CREATES ALL THIS ANGER. GO TO THE MAN/MEN/WOMAN/TOILET WHICHEVER GAVE YOU CRABS AND KICK ASS. COME BACK TO THIS AWESOME SITE AND LET'S ALL TALK SMACK ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE. AFTER ALL YOU MUST LOVE THIS SITE TO BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I
Scout - I'm totally offended by your misguided missive. If you're going to talk trash about someone, get your facts right. (Thank you Anon 7:16 and 7:33 for clarifying things.)
I'm sorry you think I'm a "poseur" b/c I wear glasses (WTF?) and that my site is crap. There are hundreds of people, including Spicy herself (who lists me in her blogroll) who read daily and (obviously) think otherwise.
That's all.
i just threw up on my keyboard! :(
I love Hanni's glasses AND I think she's really pretty.
Just thought I'd add my 2 cents.
Hanni ~ I've already apologized to you but, again, I'm sorry that I've offended you. If there are people that like your blog... Congratulations. I, however, honestly think it's inane drivel. Wholly unimpressive. I still think you're a poseur with the glasses, haircut and lame ass writing. You don't have the smarts to pull it off.
Anon 9:06 ~ WTF? I can't decipher the message of your comment. Do your many unattractive, gay, hooker friends (as you describe them) have difficulty understanding you, too?
When Paris Hilton starts to throw her panties "Duck and Cover"
To: Scout
It was awful nice of you to apologize to Hanni mistaking her entry for some idiot.
But.....who the fuck are you to to talk about somebody's grammar when you can't even understand what you read. How did you make a mistake that big? You must be a fucking retard. Having an opinion of someones blog is one thing, but to go on a tyraid about there looks, there college education, and there
opinion of themselves is just plain ignorant.
Do you have a blog? Do you post pictures of yourself online? Probably not.....I think your just into sitting around beiing critical of others, because if
you can make people feel bad about themselves then you won't be the only one who has low self-esteem. If so...Doesn't that make you the "FUCKING POSEUR."
And if you do have a blog, then you should take it offline immediately because the whole purpose of a blog is to express yourself any way you want to. So
for you to be critical of someone elses blog, you obviously don't understand that. Uh Oh....That makes you a "FUCKING POSEUR" also.
Moral of the story:
1) Read carfully: If you would have taken the time to read and comprehend, then you wouldn't have shot your load off for no damn reason.
2) If you don't like it, don't read it, but don't knock it: I understand if you don't like Hanni's blog, she probably wouldn't like yours (if you have one).But I'm pretty sure she wouldn't write a post tearing it apart because thats what a "FUCKING POSEUR" would do.
Thanks for being such a dip shit,
BLK
Let it be know that I don't have a blog, I don't have good grammar, and this is one of the few times I will ever contribute to this blog. I personally just like to read the funny shit and look at the pictures. By the way this is one of my favorite blog's Spicy.
blk ~ You're awfully defensive. Care to tell us what you're hiding?
Scout Is Intitled to His Opinion...Along with EVERYONE else blk.
Gawd, I REALLY HATE deleting comments! BUT there were a couple of pretty fucked up comments regarding my homegirl Hänni..and her looks.
1) She's a total fucking babe
2) I hope to God that I get to party with the bitch sometime.
She rocks, and the bitch can hold her liquor. Which has earned her utmost respect from Spicy. heh.
Hey, I like a good catfight as much as the next girl and I try to not censor anything. But the extremely vicious jabs were too personal and just not true.
Thanks everyone,
Oh except that reading-a-dirty-mag-then-sportin' wood-then-tying-it-off motherfuckin' stripper!
XOXO Bitches!
Keep making me laugh!
She may be your friend and can hold her liquor but I wouldn't go as far as saying she is A Hot Babe...Not even close..LOL
Watch yourself...
Save the Drama for your Mama ;)
Fuck today's shite is funny!
Love all of you assclowns!
Todays shit was pretty damn funny!
Hopefully Hanni Isn't In the bathroom crying her eyes out! Just tell yourself over and over again Hanni "It's not my fault I was born this way"
Good One...LOL
oh my god! ahha this shit is to hilarious. Spicy Pants, we all love you! =)
I remember hearing that story back in college and believing every word! On to Paris "Lazy Left Eye" Hilton, this is one of the most disgusting pictures yet. She looks like a drag queen version of herself. Her face looks rather puffy.....and just when you think her eye can not go anymore lazy....she amazes us all. Gross.....
P.S.....VEry rude comments about Spicy and hubby. Male strippers are NASTY. I think of greasy mullets and bodies when i think of male strippers. Yeah, can you imagine dating one and taking him home to mom. NOT! There is no need to take your hostility out on Spicy, stripper boy.
"Tyraid about there looks".
Best comment ever. The Oxford English Dictionary founders just put shot guns in their mouths.
Anon 2:27, oh my god, I think I wet myself a little bit reading your comment! Awesome!
Spicy, I don't care what anyone says, your site is awesome and I have to visit it every day just to get my daily dose of gossip and to be thoroughly entertained by the comments on here! Keep it up girl!
To anon: 2:57
Male Strippers disgust me. You disgust me. Spicy is great. At least she doesn't have to have sex as a living.
Wow... First off, I would like to say that Scout, assuming he/she is a guy, is a total limp-dick moron. If he/she is a gal – I suppose she would be a dried up glory-hole veteran.
Scout,
You totally lost face - and instead of owning up to your completely misguided attempt to fit in with all the other peeps (something a poseur would do BTW) you go on with the insults digging yourself deeper. I love it when an ass proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he/she IS indeed an ass. BTW - Hänni - I loved the comment about the crabs in the "stripper-ass" - lol - keep it up chica! I know many who find you quite amusing and so far... none who have found Scout anything but sad... Oh - except for that time he/she made a total ass of himself/herself - I know a lot of people who laughed at him/her then. But that was actually kinda sad too. See they were laughing AT him/her - not WITH him/her. Scout, I am willing to bet that you won’t be posting as Scout for a while – if you do – it will probably be to respond to this. Good luck gaining credibility again. Oh yeah – my favorite quote from you is, “Hannis, your blog is uninteresting, poorly written and nothing to brag about.” What a stupid ass. Next time you want to say something to Hänni, its capital “H”, then hold down the Alt key and type 0228 and then let go of the Alt key to make an “Ä”. Hold on, there is still more grammar for you to learn… Next press the “N” key twice. Finish up by pressing the “I” key (there is no “S”). OH YEAH (spoken like the Kool-Aid guy)! You spelled Hänni correctly now! Next week we will go over how to type and spell judgment. See below:
“Also, Spicy Pants posts her own picture OFTEN, which you would know if you had bothered to peruse this site for even 5 minutes before making this bullshit judgement:”
Study hard!
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