Seriously. 
Keith was in Fiji doing God knows what in a coconut tree and FELL out of it. Now tell me, what the fuck is a 62 year old doing climbing a tree? I bet the juice had nothing to do with it. Heh.
Anyhow, I guess he hit his tiny cranium during the fall and is being treated at a hospital in Auckland but no one is talking. Rumors first circulated that Keith was critically hurt but now we are hearing that he is conscious & undergoing brain scans but has not had any surgeries. Crazy old bird!
4/29/06
Keith Richards Falls Out of a Palm Tree
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10 Smack Talkers:
the walking dead can climb?
I'm from Auckland and I heard about it this morning...it was like "What the hell was he doing in a tree?" They said in our news that he was being treated for mild concussion, but we think maybe they're playing it down a bit. I wonder which hospital he's at?
You know, I think it would be extremely odd if after everything he lived through - he died because of a fall out of a palm tree.
The man will never die. As Robin Williams said, at the end of the world all that will be left is Keith Richards and a few cockroaches.
"Keith Richards, Rock Star, a man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology. We have the capability to make the worlds first Bionic Rock Star. Keith Richards will be that man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster."
Why did the Rolling Stones let Keith Richards join?
To make Mick Jagger look healthy! Bwahahaaahhahaha!
WHAT THE F*CK WAS HE DOING IN A PALM TREE???
As I mentally re-create the scene of the incident, it is worth noting that palm trees HAVE NO LIMBS!!!...THAT means ONE of the following is true...
***The 62-year-old Richards shinnied up a giant motherf*ckin palm tree!!!
***He went up a ladder to the top of a palm tree and later fell off...
***He climbed a VERY SHORT palm tree (Kinda like when Beaver got a boost from Gilbert, put his foot on the ladie's thumb and fell into that giant coffee cup on the billboard), near enough to the ground where a fall would only leave him with a slight concussion, which is what he allegedly suffered...
***He jumped out of his hotel window ON TOP of a palm tree, since he is too old and too out-of-shape to shinny up ANYTHING taller than a coat rack or a Swedish model...
But ONE thing we know for SURE...HE WAS DRUNK!!!...
I KNOW this simply because ONLY a drunk guy could fall out of a tree and NOT break something!!!...With his presumed diet and the years of abuse, Keith's bones must be like kindling wood...How SOMETHING didnt break is for "Ripley's" to figure out...
Tragic air mishaps took the lives of Croce, Stevie Ray, Skynyrd, Patsy, Richie, Buddy, the Big Bopper and many more...But it took a stationary palm tree on Fiji to ground my man, Keith Richards...I can only pray to God that some form of kinky sex was involved...
The legend continues...
haha!
Have any of the people talking crap about keith seen the Rolling Stones live lately? I saw them in november and they can still put on a helluva a show. Keith Chainsmoked through the entire show! Oh yeah, and it also must take a few hundred gallons of vodka to get him drunk. as he says, "after you shoot Heroin, everything else is baby's milk." I love ya keith!
***UPDATE***
It turns out that Keith Richards was injured a jot more seriously than the original story implied...
Keith has a brain hemorrage which will require surgery, the drilling into his skull to drain blood and relieve pressure on his brain...
It was also reported today that Richards fell out of the palm tree he was climbing WITH RON WOOD to get some coconuts!!!...(Isnt THIS an old Polish joke?)...
So, in re-constructing the scenario...
Keith AND Ron were climbing THE SAME palm tree!!!...THAT means that AT LEAST two (2) multi-millionaire substance-abusing senior citizens HAD TO HAVE a coconut SO BAD that they thought it was a good idea to climb THE SAME palm tree TOGETHER!!!...
This ALSO means that they were either cheap, stupid or WASTED!!!..I guess paying some kid or native to fetch a coconut OR climb the tree FOR THEM didnt cross their minds...
Not that it matters, but this whole mess STILL doesnt add up...Here's wishing KR a speedy recovery, so he can get back on stage and experience the type of death he has earned...
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